Daddy's Girl

If I am to be precise it has been 10 months and 10 days since you gained your wings. I have had to accept that pain demands to be felt. They said it would get better with time, others said time heals all wounds. But not this one, maybe it’s the type of wound or I don’t do well with healing, whatever the case, time has not made anything easier. The wound is as fresh as it was on the 4^th of December. I remember the day vividly. We had spoken the previous day, held hands and waved at each other and I had all the hope a little girl could. But you shattered my heart the following day. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss you.

I miss you when I wake up. When I have missed my alarm because you wouldn’t let me be late for anything.

I miss you when I have to switch on the geyser to heat my water to bath because that was your role.

I miss you when I have to leave the house, unlock the door and step out. Unlock the door? Who? Me? No! Daddy opens doors and walks me out. But not today.

I dread the walk to get on the bus because these days I walk alone. I miss our talks as we waited for the bus.

I miss sharing highlights of my day with you because you were a text or simply a beep away. I’m still deciding on whether to keep your number or not. For now I still have it.

The ride back home is long because I won’t get the text asking how far I am so that we can walk back home together.

I miss you when I am crying through my ride home and my neighbor wants to ask me why. But I fail to stop the tears.

I miss you when my indecision creeps in because you were my voice of reason.

I miss you when I have a hard day or week ahead because you made everything seem easy. Your belief in me kept me going.

Your chair is empty during supper time.

You are not here to lead devotions or sing the loudest.

The study is as intact as you left it.

I sleep and when I wake up the cycle continues.....

Everything is so different. Everything has had to change. We are grateful for the memories we shared, both the laughter and the pain. There was a lesson in everything. We will hold on to everything but most importantly the faith you taught us. It gives us hope that we will meet again.

                                                                  

                                                                                    Signed,

                                                                           Daddy’s girl